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Even Hillier Hills of the Chilterns
26 February 2006

The Green Bridge 8am-ish weather report was not encouraging, but still we set out - Dave (Tuckwell), Kerry (male), & Camille (the new girl) led by Steve (the irrepressible). A 9am tube from Baker St to the hills - but no sign of Ken, who was to meet us (was he ahead, still waiting, or in bed?) & as for the female triathletes from Hackney..... En route Steve demonstrated the ride leaders' ancient art of 'Tai Chi route planning' - graceful hand/arm gestures miming our intended route - most auspiciously practiced whilst cycling through a deserted City.

We headed out of Amersham on mostly B-roads & country lanes, dry if a bit gravely. The group strung out a little, halting briefly at strategic intersections to adjust saddles, re-consult maps, & let those without the nerve for 30mph+ descents re-group (girls).

The 11.30 tea-stop was thwarted by a pub which opened at 12, but Steve forestalled grumblings by glueing our mouths closed with fig rolls, so we headed for early lunch. The hills were becoming even more, as promised, but generally not so steep as the famed 'chevrons'. Wildlife was plentiful en route including definite/maybe red-tailed kites, less fortunate roadside corpses & an excellent 'cow count'. (Ahhh, the smell of silage). A rogue leash-less dog kept Dave on his toes (but vertical).

We arrived 1pm at Christmas Common to find the pub full until 2, so on we pushed. Kerry was muttering about revolution, American-style, until Steve declared 'Here is where the talents of a truly masterful rides leader come to the fore' (or some such).

Lo & behold, 2pm saw us tucked up fireside at the 'Five Horseshoes', drinks in hand & food ordered. We departed with lunch & 30m under our belts & the temp still sub 5ºC.

Not long after, a shortcut was voted on, with the consensus 'go cyclocross'. Our bridlepath adventure involved two stiles, a field of cows, then up a very steep wooded hill where Steve & his treadless road shoes suffered badly. But the other side was worth it, hedged lanes sheltering us from the wind, a bit of sun, scenic views, (& another 30+mph descent).

The next big ascent, steep & long, won Dave the 'climbers' jersey', with Steve (broken cleats), Kerry & Camille (no pride) turning pedestrian. Apparently unmarked, it was surely 'hors chevron' (beyond a chev).

Not so much later, just as the next hill was becoming unwelcome, & dusk beginning to fall, we ground up to High Wickham station (as Dave observed, everything in the Chilterns is on a hill) & a tube back to Liverpool St. A grand total of 45m, with no punctures, mechanicals, or troublesome injuries.

Postscript - those homeward bound down Whitechapel High Street nearly came to a sticky end due to roadworks. Camille, bath in sight, advocated going directly through the barriers, & we nearly got glued to the road by tar, & forever marked by white lines!

Camille

pics by Kerry (full set)

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